What’s in the Hahm?

There is a tradition from Korean nobility where the groom and his groomsman go to the house of the bride with a box of gifts (called hahm). It’s a fun event where the bride’s family tries to “buy” the hahm from the groomsmen.

In the old days, it was a serious event and was coordinated between the families of the bride and groom. The groom is supposed to send a “delegation” to the bride’s family’s house to negotiate her dowry with the hahm being the “token of honor”. The groom was not supposed to go, but the party paints their face black (with squid ink… I’m not kidding here) and they go to the bride’s house. The groom is disguised by the squid ink, so he gets to see the bride and encourages (or discourages) the selling of the hahm.

These days, it’s more of a festive event. The bride’s family offers food and money in exchange for the hahm. One by one, members of the groom’s party go into the house and they join the bride’s family with encouraging the groomsmen to give up the hahm for the food and money being offered. Think of it as a one-sided Red Rover game. Ultimately, the groom is left alone holding the hahm. If he finally submits to exchange hahm, then he goes into the house and shows the bride’s mother the hahm. If she approves, then she gives the hahm to the chosen bride.

In the old days, the mother of the bride had the final word and could reject the hahm OR accept the hahm but offer one of the “less desirable” daughters to counter the pittance of the hahm she just bought. Brutal, eh?

Here’s a photo of the hahm I want to offer Liz’s family!

(no peeking)

While it doesn’t look like much on the outside, its simplicity belies the elaborate gifts that are inside. Stay tuned... I expect the hahm selling will be this Saturday!